Have you ever heard the phrase, “What other people think of you is none of your business”? Do you agree? Or are you very worried about what other people think of you?
I was a people pleaser for most of my life. Other people’s opinions used to be very important to me. So much so that I became like a chameleon. I would change my behavior to please different people. As a result, there were times when I lost my way, especially when I was trying to please the wrong people. Instead of making my own decisions, and letting people accept or not accept them, I would change based upon my environment and would come to conclusions about myself based on what other people thought of me, instead of what I thought of myself.
So in essence, I was just a reflection of other people. There’s a book by existential psychologist Rollo May called Man’s Search for Himself, and there’s a quote in the book that sums this all up, “I’m just a collection of mirrors, reflecting what everyone else thinks of me.”
You don’t have to fit into someone else’s plan. Instead of living up to someone else’s expectations of you, create expectations for yourself, and live based upon those. Slowly start to make your own decisions based on your beliefs, and come to your own conclusions. If you do this, then you will naturally attract people that you should be spending time with and opportunities that are meant for you.
Most of my unhappiness came from ignoring everything that I was naturally attracting, and trying to attract people, opportunities and ideas that weren’t naturally attracted to me. Once I let that go, I became happier.
It’s time to let go of being a people pleaser. Instead of being a product of what everyone else thinks, be a product of what you think.
