If I was able to go back in time and give my younger self some advice, I would tell younger me, the people that you spend time with will have more positive, or negative impact on your life than you can possibly imagine.
This is what my friend and mentor, author and entrepreneur Jim Rohn called The Law of Association, which says, positive or negative, you are going to become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
If you want to test this theory in your own life, let’s use the example of income. Take the five people you spend the most time with right now, add up what you think their income is, divide by five and see where you land. It’s likely your income will fall somewhere in the middle.
When you spend time with other people, you start talking like they talk, thinking like they think, doing what they do, going where they go, spending time where they spend time, reading what they read, etc.
Examine this aspect of your life. Do you want to improve it?
Then there are 3 questions you should ask yourself…
- Who am I spending time with?
- How are they influencing me?
- Are they influencing me in a positive way?
If the answers to these questions lead to you wanting to make a change, consider these 3 suggestions…
- Limit your association with negative people.
These people can put you in a negative state of mind very quickly. You don’t even need to tell them that you will be spending less time with them. Just don’t be so available.
- Disassociate with the really bad people.
How many times have you seen a movie where the star is spending lots of time with someone who is ruining their life? And you’re thinking, get away from that person! Only this isn’t a movie, this is your life, so take your own advice.
- Expand your associations.
Start spending more time with people who fill you up and help you to become a better person. Look for people who will help you to be more positive and be a bigger thinker that is moving in the direction of their dreams.
In the beginning, these choices can be tough, because people who are very successful may be trying to limit their association with you because they know about the Law of Association too! Letting someone less successful into their group lowers the average. So you will need to get creative and start spending small amounts of time with them, then try to expand that into larger amounts of time as you become more valuable to the group.
Here are some important things to consider about The Law of Association…
- If you happen to be at the top of the five and think you are in good shape, watch out! Remaining there will drag you down. It’s actually better to be at the bottom. When you get to the top of your five, you’ll need to move into the bottom of another group.
- Let’s say you are moving up in your five. The people you are leaving behind may resent you and try to sabotage you.
- The entire process can cause some separation anxiety. When you choose to grow, not everyone around you will choose to grow as well.
- You will come across people that help you to advance in one part of your life, but they may be toxic in another. This won’t serve you in the end, so you may have to make some tough decisions.
- Last but not least, and this is important, your five don’t even have to be people you know in person! One of my first five was Jim Rohn, through his cassette tapes that I listened to literally hundreds of times.
These choices are difficult, and they will happen over and over again, but The Law of Association says you have to change your environment in order to change your life.
